At The Moment We Can't
by castlenova
Summary: Following on from our first two S3 episodes. Cal is still being a jerk. Gillian's had enough. Everyone's starting to notice. Bad summary. Rated for safety. Now Complete
1. Chapter 1

Gillian Foster made herself take a deep breath and close her eyes. 'And breathe' she thought to herself again as the anger continued to course through her veins. She repeated the process four times before the door bursting open brought her back to reality. She looked up to see Ria Torres, looking at her worriedly.

"Don't you know how to knock Ria?" she snapped as she started to tidy up some of the paperwork on her desk. Torres grimaced.

"I'm sorry. I can leave again if…"

"What do you want?" Torres gulped. She'd never seen Foster in such a foul mood. She'd noticed her and Lightman being very tense around each other the last while. It would take an idiot not to notice. Or Loker. But he seemed to be more interested in getting out of there anyway. A bus could have crashed into his office and he wouldn't have looked up. And that brought her to the reason she was in Foster's office in the first place. But now didn't seem the time.

"It's really not that important," she said reaching for the door. Gillian was focused now.

"I'm guessing it's about Loker, right?"

OXOXOXO

Cal Lightman was powering through his third chapter. Ever since Emily had written that foreword for him he'd seen some new impetus and just, all of a sudden, begun writing, which was good because that publisher was emailing him every waking minute and the fact that he had something to send her seemed to get her off his back for a while.

As well as that, their caseload had eased off quite substantially meaning all he had was time to write. He figured if he got a couple of good days like this, he would have a first draft finished with minimal need for edit.

OXOXOXO

"Lightman's not pushing him and he's not pushing himself." Ria was sitting in Foster's office, hands folded in her lap. Gillian had momentarily gotten over her anger to listen carefully.

"Ria, it's not Cal's job to push him on. He has to want to do it himself too. We didn't push you. You had initiative. I'll be honest, we thought Loker did too but he hasn't shown it." Gillian spoke truthfully. More and more she had noticed Loker's fall off from the company collective. He was reserved, only doing minimal work and keeping his head down for the most part. The anti-Cal, she thought to herself but then banished the idea because thinking of him only made her angry. It was a facial flash Ria didn't miss, but didn't ask about.

"He's disillusioned. And now he's applied for that job and things are just, getting messed up…" Gillian frowned suddenly.

"Did something happen between the two of you?" Ria looked at her before looking away again. Gillian nodded.

"Thought so. Look, Ria. I don't know what more we can do. Cal promoted him but since that he's sunk even further into himself. I can try talk to him but he'll probably resent it. I can try talk to Cal but, well, I might strangle him. At the moment, the only person I can see who might be able to get through to him is you." Ria skipped over her remark about Cal and stood up. She paced the room, thinking for a minute.

"He doesn't seem to listen to me. I think, it sounds crazy but, I think he may be punishing me." Gillian sat back in her chair.

"Why?"

"For going cold on him when he got the promotion."

"Going cold?"

"I didn't want to be seen to be sleeping with the boss. Or superior or whatever you want to call him." Gillian closed her eyes. This was more complicated than she cared to deal with right now. It was time to close the discussion.

"I'll talk to Cal. See if I can't make him take his head out of his ass and try keep a promising employee." Ria nodded and thanked her. As her hand twisted on the door know to leave, she stopped, looking back.

"What's going on between you and Lightman? You look like you can't stand to be in the same room as each other." Gillian didn't look up from her paperwork. She simply responded,

"At the moment, we can't."

OXOXOXO

_Ok, good? Bad? Continue? Bugger off? Tell me._


	2. Chapter 2

Cal was halfway through his sixth chapter when he heard the soft knock on the door. He didn't bother to respond, knowing the knocking style off by heart. He knew she'd come right ahead in. And she did. He held up one finger as he finished typing the paragraph he was on, one-handed. She sat down in the chair in front of his desk and waited.

OXOXOXO

Emily Lightman glanced into her dad's office and saw Gillian sitting at the desk. Deciding she didn't want to interrupt, she skipped around the side and entered through her dad's study entrance, for which she had a key. Settling down on the couch in the study she waited until Cal and Gillian had finished talking.

OXOXOXO

Cal sighed as he finished typing before clicking 'save' and looking up.

"Yes love?"

"We need to talk." He gauged her tone. She wasn't annoyed. Well, she was, but not about the topic she needed to talk about so that was good. He thought.

"What is it?"

"Loker." Cal closed his eyes and groaned. He stood up and walked to the window.

"Before you say anything, he came out in the field, moaned, gave out, and was about as useful as an underwater hairdryer. He's developed a serious attitude problem, that one." Gillian nodded her head along as he spoke. For the first time in quite a while, she agreed with everything he'd said.

"I agree." Cal froze.

"You what?"

"You heard me." Cal turned to her and walked back to the desk, sitting one leg on it and looking at her.

"Yeah I did. But the shock of having my partner agree with me is frazzling my brain a little." Gillian's lips twitched in contempt. They were back to that.

"So now I'm your partner again. How nice that you've decided my title should be upgraded." Cal sighed and rolled his eyes.

"We're back to that again. Gillian, you froze my assets! I think I had every right to be annoyed." Gillian bit her lip so hard, she was waiting to taste blood.

"For the last time Cal, OUR assets. I froze OUR assets, not just yours, not just mine. And how is it that I am your 'partner' when I agree with you but you're tossing out threats when I don't? I'm sick to the teeth of this Cal. You have been goading me for the last few weeks and I don't need it. I'm under enough stress as it is." Her voice had risen in tone but she didn't care. She needed to hammer this into his thick skull. He stared down at her and shook his head.

"My sweat and blood went into this company. It's what kept it going when it was a shoebox – not your accounting, not your smothering. And not your bloody attempts to keep me under control. You think you're the only one under pressure? I've got a bloody book to write and I hate nothing more than trying to be articulate enough for chumps to understand what I do…" Gillian cut across him as she stood up, certain that if she sat there much longer she would end up doing something she would sorely regret.

"The difference is, Cal, you put these pressures on yourself. Everything that's putting you under pressure right now is something you've drawn on yourself. Most of the pressure I'm under has found its way onto my shoulders because of your recklessness."

"You never complained about my recklessness before," he countered and she realised that this was true. She'd had misgivings but they'd never had a full blown row like they were having now.

"That's because despite everything, you were still treating me as a person." Cal's face fell at this remark. He moved to speak but she could across him again.

"You said the other night that if I touched _your _finances again, we were through. Well, I've got my own ultimatum. The next time you treat me as your secretary, the next time you insinuate that I don't have just as much to lose here as you do, the next time you belittle me the way you've been doing for the last few days, I walk out of here. And then you really _are_ on your own." With that she turned on her heel and walked out of the room. She didn't slam the door. She knew he knew that she was mad enough already. Door slamming would be over the top and unnecessary. Cal sunk into his office chair, stunned.

It was a moment before he became aware of his study door sliding open. He looked at it, waiting to see who would emerge and relaxing slightly on seeing Emily.

"Hello love." Emily raised an eyebrow.

"That was quite an argument." Cal didn't look at her. He was glancing away at the window as he replied.

"Well, you know, women, hormones." He mock shielded himself as if expecting a punch but Emily wasn't playing.

"You know I heard every word, right?" Cal looked at her this time. A grimace flashed across his face.

"And?" he prompted. Emily took a deep breath.

"Dad…you're a jerk."

OXOXOXO

_Ok, so there's a little bit more. Not sure where this is going. Just going with the flow._


	3. Chapter 3

Gillian Foster poured herself a glass of wine and settled herself onto her couch to watch the old movie night that one of her cable channels was showing. A couple of the classic old black and white movies were being shown and she could think of nothing better than sitting down with some wine and watching Bogie seduce Bergman all over again. She'd felt a weight lift from her shoulders after her confrontation with Cal earlier on. She'd talked to Loker a little while later and asked him why he wanted to move jobs. All he'd said was 'change of scenery' which she'd known was a lie straight away. There was weird dynamic between him and Lightman – a bit of a father/unappreciated son kind of vibe. Gillian felt that the only person who had a shot at keeping him there was Cal. She also knew there was a better chance of a snowball surviving hell than there was of Cal appealing to Loker. He just didn't care about anything lately but himself.

She had just found her way through the first glass of wine when the doorbell rang. She groaned. She had a feeling this might happen and she wasn't sure she was in the mood for this now. She stood up and made her way to the front door, pausing to check the peephole seeing, sure enough, her business 'partner' on the other side. She sighed and opened the door, but didn't step aside to let him in.

"What do you want?" she asked, her voice neutral but her face betraying the calmness she was trying to exude. He noticed it straightaway naturally. He seemed to think better than to mention it though. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and glanced at the ground before taking a deep breath and looking back up at her.

"Ok, three things," he held up three fingers, as if to clarify. "One, my daughter thinks I'm a prick." He dropped one finger. Gillian raised an eyebrow.

"And you're afraid she's misinformed?" Cal paused a moment at her remark but chose to continue.

"Two, _you_ think I'm a prick." Gillian smirked slightly.

"Again, misinformed?" She goaded lightly but he could tell she was being deadly serious. He swallowed hard, knocking down a second finger as he did.

"And three, Loker, who also thinks I'm a prick, he's about to get offered a job." Gillian startled at this one.

"What? How do you know that?"

"I just got a phone call looking for a reference from him. Love, can I come in?" he added hurriedly to the end of his sentence. Much as he liked that she was speaking to him again, it was bloody cold out and he wanted to talk to her in detail. Gillian seemed to think about it for a minute before stepping back to let him in by her.

OXOXO

Cal felt uncomfortable as he walked into the warm sitting room. He spied the old movie on TV, Casablanca. He should have known. She liked her romance novels, she couldn't but like a film like that. He saw her glass of wine on the coffee table and felt a little guilty about disturbing her. He also felt very much the vulnerable member of the conversation, out of his comfort zone. Gillian came in and sat down on the couch as he perched himself on the armchair by the doorway. That hurt Gillian a little. He always invaded her personal space. Always. She wondered now if what had gone wrong between them was irreversible.

"So, Emily thinks you're a 'prick'?" she prompted, stumbling over the more British word he had used, deciding to follow the schedule he'd set in his opening greeting. Cal nodded.

"Yeah."

"Care to tell me why?" she prompted again, leaning forward to pick up her glass of wine. She didn't offer him one. That was how he knew she was still mad, just hiding it pretty well.

"She heard us talking earlier today." Gillian put her glass back down and looked at him. He shrugged.

"She's siding with you, in case you're wondering." Gillian frowned slightly. She didn't like his tone, didn't like what it seemed to be insinuating. And she didn't like that he had just read that exact suspicion off her face.

"And what? You think it's, female solidarity?" she said a little cattily. He shook his head, holding up his hands.

"No, no, I don't. Oh Gillian, I hate this. I hate the way we've been with each other this last while. And I hate when you're mad at me. It's probably the worst feeling in the world." Gillian swallowed at this remark. He was right on that.

"Yeah. I think it might be." Cal seemed to gather momentum from her agreement.

"So can we just, put this behind us? Let things get back to the way they were?" Gillian looked up at this, a little annoyed again, annoyed that he thought things could be so easily fixed.

"I don't know Cal. Can we?" He took a deep breath, standing up.

"The last time we had a fight I went out and got a gun put to my head. If I do that this time, will it earn me any brownie points?" He smirked at her. She shook her head.

"This isn't a joking matter Cal." On that, he sat down on the couch next to her, close. Closer than he would if they were on good terms. She suddenly felt a little vulnerable. He turned to her.

"Gill, I'm sorry love. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I mean, it's like looking a gift horse in the mouth, only, only you're a prize thoroughbred. I'm a bloody idiot, I know that. Thing is, I'm not I'll ever learn any better than being an idiot. But for what it's worth I'm sorry and I will try my best not to be an asshole in future." Gillian took a deep breath. While the speech had the air of 'practiced in front of mirror' she realised that it was about as calculated as Cal could master.

"Cal, don't ever equate me to a 'gift horse' ever again." Her tone was light and Cal smiled back at her.

"I said thoroughbred. Best of the best." Gillian shook her head.

"Depends on what you're using them for." Cal waggled an eyebrow at this but Gillian didn't see. He bit his bottom lip and reached a hand out, enclosing it over hers.

"In all seriousness love, after Emily, you're the most important person in my life, you know that don't you?" Gillian's hand twitched under his as she turned to look at him.

"What about Detective Wallowski?" she asked, realising too late that it was kind of a cheap shot but she figured he deserved it after the way he'd been acting lately. Cal's hand froze on hers and the ghost of a smile crossed his face.

"Stone the crows," he said, a smirk creeping over his face.

"What?" Gillian asked, confused both by his response and by the phrase he'd just used.

"This, this fight. This hasn't just been about the way I've been acting, has it?" Gillian tried to remain stone faced but couldn't tell if she'd succeeded or not. Cal's head tilted the way it did when he was just after figuring out something.

"Correct me if I'm wrong love but, you're jealous."

The colour drained from Gillian's face.

OXOXOXO


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay in this. Lost track of where I was going with it for a while but I think I'm good again now.**

Gillian just stared at him, spotting the smirk ghosting across his face and the delight in his eyes. It must have been deliberate she thought to herself. He never allowed his mask to fall away for long enough to read him. Gillian didn't know how to respond to his accusation. He'd hit the nail on the head of course but she wasn't going to tell him that. Instead she went on the offensive.

"What do you see in her Cal?" He raised an eyebrow at this.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what I said. Cal, she broke into your house, what makes you think you can trust her?" Cal frowned and stifled a laugh.

"Trust her? I _don't _think I can trust her Gill. Not by a long shot. But she's useful. And since we've cut ties with the FBI…" That sentence earned him a glare, "I don't want to lose the one cop I can squeeze on the street," he finished, quite proud of how he thought up that answer on the spot. He figured it sounded better than 'yeah I'm going to shag her a couple of times then let her down gently'. Gillian wasn't buying it though.

"Is that where you were squeezing her?" Cal smirked at this and was about to speak again when Gillian stood up. He followed suit with a quizzical look on his face.

"It's late and I'm tired. I'm going to bed," she said quickly, moving towards the hallway. He smirked to himself. She was majorly on the defensive now after his question a few minutes ago. He couldn't decide whether to push her on it or let it slide. He bit his lip, looking back at her.

"Are we good, again?" he flicked his hand between the two of them with fluid wrist action. Gillian took a deep breath, shying away from looking him in the eye. Cal swallowed hard. That was a 'no'.

"We're better," she said finally, opening the door for him. He nodded his head, accepting that response for now. Better he could deal with.

**Ok short chapter there today only because I've taken a while to post again. Another chapter should go up soon. Thank you all for the lovely reviews so far, much appreciated!**


	5. Chapter 5

Cal Lightman was angry. Incredibly angry in fact. The blood boiled in his veins, he ground his teeth so hard that had his dentist seen him he'd probably have punched him in the face. He felt like lashing out and hitting something. He felt like picking up his computer (though it had done nothing wrong lately) and bouncing it off the wall. Instead he sat down heavily into his chair.

Everything had been going well for the last week. They'd been getting along better. Better, she'd said, that night at her house. Better. And it had been better, he couldn't argue with that. She was standing by him a bit more, helping him to his feet after getting his stomach punched in. They had their niggly arguments but nothing as caustic as what they'd had before.

But now they'd gone and fucked each other over. She'd lied for him and he'd put her in the position whereby she'd have to do so. It wasn't anything new. They'd lied for each other before. He'd never thrown the loyalty card at her though. Or maybe he had. But he'd never thrown it at her whilst blatantly ignoring it in relation to how he was treating her.

"Bollocks," he muttered to himself, "What a bloody mess."

"Doctor Lightman?" The voice of Ria Torres wafted in from the doorway. He heard the concern in her voice without looking up. But not for him. He held a hand up.

"Not now, Torres."

"Loker has a job interview."

"He had one last week as well. I wouldn't worry."

"I would if I were you…" Cal looked up, raised an eyebrow at her and she swallowed hard. He took a deep breath. That bad.

OXOXOXO

"Rader? Jack Rader?" Cal's frown deepened as Torres told her story from her uncomfortable stance in the seat at the other side of his desk. He shook his head.

"What a bloody plonker…"

"You got to admit, this isn't entirely his fault…" Cal looked at her, eyebrow raised, daring her to continue. She didn't. But he'd gotten the scent of an argument and the irritation he'd been feeling earlier came roaring back to his chest.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Torres took a deep breath.

"You haven't exactly been encouraging this last while…"

"I promoted him, didn't I?" Cal waved his arms out to his sides to emphasise his protest at her comment. She shook her head.

"You promoted him then continued to treat him with zero respect!" Cal watched her face as she spoke to him. If he'd listened to what she said he would have told her she was fired but what she was saying wasn't as interesting as what he was reading.

"How many times did you two sleep together? Once? Twice? It can't have been much more than that because, it ended badly, didn't it? " Torres froze in her seat before gathering her thoughts together.

"That has nothing to do with anything…"

"That has a lot to do with everything. But, admittedly, not with what's going on here, I'm just stalling your inevitable speech where you blame me for not "nurturing" young Loker and driving him out of the company…Save it love, I've heard it already." Torres frowned.

"Aren't you going to do anything about it?" Cal looked up from the paperwork he was pretending to be interested in. He shook his head.

"What can I do? He wants to go, he wants to go. Nothing I can do." Torres took a deep breath and stood up.

"Nothing you want to do more like," she muttered as she turned on her heel and stormed from the room.

"That too." Cal agreed, thumbing through the report on his desk.

**Ok, this is an extra little thing I'm adding into this story as a subplot. Hopefully it's working ok.**


	6. Chapter 6

By that evening Cal had calmed down sufficiently to cook dinner for he and Emily without the fear of tossing the frying pan across the kitchen. What a bloody day. Torres's scolding had been the cherry on the top of the cake.

Emily sat in the kitchen on her laptop. Cal looked in every now and then to see her typing intently, paying no attention to anything around her.

"What's that you're typing, love?"

"Chapter One." He grinned, walking over to her.

"You're nine chapters slow." This shook her from her reverie. She looked up at him, big brown eyes wide.

"You're on Chapter 10?" He nodded casually and she smiled at him, shaking her head. He frowned.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, I'm just…surprised. Dad you've nearly finished another book. That's great, right? It'll inject some capital back into the company…" Cal stopped dead in the kitchen archway. He turned to her.

"Where'd you learn a big phrase like that?"

"Business Studies."

"Pull the other one love; I _know _that's not true." He checked on their food before making his way back into the kitchen and sitting down next to his daughter. She tried to ignore him.

"Come on. Spill. Where'd you hear it?" Emily sighed and closed over her laptop.

"I overheard Gill say it one day in the office on the phone. I stopped in to say 'hi' and I didn't knock, just walked straight in…" Cal watched her face, eyes darting side to side, trying to remember correctly. She wasn't lying but right now he was more interested in what Gillian had been saying and to whom.

"What else she say love?" Emily hesitated before seeing the seriousness in his eyes.

"She said something about an 'injection of capital', then that she'd be in contact as soon as she could and not to worry, everything would work out fine. I think that's all. Why?" Cal's face softened again. He felt his anger sweeping back through him. He put his mask on for Em though.

"Nothing love. Come on, let's get dinner eh?"

**Short chapter there and a plot twist that's come out of the blue but that's what happens when you don't plan a story first!**


	7. Chapter 7

Cal strode purposefully towards the conference room where he knew Gillian was in a meeting with their financial advisors, something which Cal was wary about since hearing his daughter's story. It wasn't that he didn't trust Gillian. Not for a second. But he did wonder that she was telling financial honchos about his book income when it hadn't even been written yet. Sure, they hadn't exactly been getting on lately but he didn't consider that reason for to, once again, go behind his back on the finances of the company. Right now however, something else was on his mind. He didn't even bother to knock on the conference room door, just stuck his head in around the frame. Gillian looked up, surprised. He glanced at the room before looking at her.

"I need you." He said it quite innocently but he didn't miss the slight squirm of the man in the seat furthest from Gillian. It seemed _he _needed Gillian too, just not in the same way. Though Cal would admit freely to needing her in that way too, most of the time.

"I'm in the middle of a meeting Cal," she put on a pleasant demeanour but Cal could tell that she was secretly itching to strangle him.

"It won't take a minute." Gillian nodded, uncrossed her legs and stood up, excusing herself from the group as she stepped out past him into the corridor. He pulled the door behind them.

"What's so urgent Cal?" she asked, irritation seeping through her voice. She expected him to stop and explain but he didn't. He started walking toward the analysis room, leaving her to decide whether to follow or not. She shook her head and trotted after him. Just like she always did, she thought to herself. Just once, she thought, she'd like to be strong enough to just stay where she was. See if he'd stop, look back, turn back. Once she might have been able to answer that question. Now, she just didn't know.

"Going to stop one of her most talented employees from doing a runner," he said as she caught up with him. She looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"And what do you need me for?" He didn't look at her.

"Voice of reason. And to make sure I don't kill him." Gillian actually smirked at this. Loker had been unresponsive and, quite frankly, annoying for the last month or two. It was time to draw him out of his shell, back into the real world where he could be of use to them. Where he could earn his paycheck, Gillian thought cynically. They really couldn't afford any dead weight around here at the moment.

Cal held the door for her as they reached the analysis room before stepping in behind her. The room was a flurry of activity. Loker was sitting at his desk, head down, typing furiously. Probably his CV, Cal thought to himself. He brought his fingers to his mouth and Gillian automatically took a step back and put her hands over her ears. A loud taxi-call whistle reverberated around the room drawing everyone out of their reverie.

"Right you lot, if your name doesn't include the words 'Eli' or 'Loker' please get out now." Gillian shook her head. Worst possible start. She cursed him under her breath. The group in the room filed out slowly leaving just Loker and one other man sitting down in the back corner. Cal spotted him.

"Oi, you? Out." The young man looked up, confused.

"My name's Eli too." Cal paused for a moment, looking at Gillian who shrugged. He turned back to the man.

"You're exempted. Get out." Young Eli seemed pleased with this response as he sprang from his chair and darted from the room as though he'd been stung by a wasp. Cal waited until he heard the click of the door before he turned to Loker.

"Is this the united front?" Loker asked dryly and Cal tilted his head. Cal ignored his comment and retorted with a question.

"Alright, let's talk, as adults and let's pretend that this is about your issues with the company and not about the fact that you slept with Torres and now she doesn't want you…" Loker's eyes widened and his fist clenched in a sign of anger. He was about to respond when Cal cut him off.

"Good, I've got your attention. Now tell me this, honestly, and I'll know if you're lying, you packed in your 'radical honesty' trick a long time ago, pity really it was a good experiment…" Gillian cleared her throat bringing Cal back to the question. "Anyway, tell me this, why do you want to leave here? Give me one good reason why you want to leave here." Loker looked at him defiantly.

"Because you're controlling. You have no regard for the safety of yourself or anyone else. You expect everyone here to drop everything when you say so and at the end of the day there's no thanks for any of it." Gillian bit the inside of her cheek wondering what kind of reply Cal would throw at that. It wasn't as if Loker had said anything untrue. She knew firsthand that Cal was controlling, she could be too. She knew his personal safety didn't matter much to him but he did care a certain amount about the people around him. He did expect full and total commitment from everyone during a case, even in their spare time and no, a lot of the time, there was no thanks for it. She'd been on the receiving end of that last one too recently.

"Loker, you have a contract here. A contract that states you work in return for pay. Fine, I'll accept that I'm controlling and might seem unappreciative at times but bloody hell man, you're not the only person here who thinks that. Suck it up, would you? If you think going to work for Jack Rader's going to be any easier or fluffier than working here you're very much mistaken. Jack Rader will have you pushing pencils across desks and figuring out feline facial expressions. The only research he's ever signed off on has been his own, and it was stolen." Gillian's eyes widened slightly and she wondered if Cal had meant to divulge that last piece of information. Loker seemed nonchalant. He looked at Gillian.

"What are you, the silent partner? Seems pretty apt." Gillian's mouth opened, ready to protest but Cal jumped in.

"Oi! You still work here, so you'll show some respect to your employers. Actually I don't care what you show me but you show Dr Foster respect." Gillian risked a side glance at Cal, noting his features and seeing that he was sincere. She figured it was about time she said something.

"Eli, your research is good. It could be very good and this is the best place to develop it."

"How? We have no funding for research." Gillian gulped at this before saving herself.

"We'll get by. But Cal is right, Jack Rader is interested in one thing only, his own self image. You go to him and you might as well forget about ever having a blossoming career. You'll kill it with him." Loker said nothing, he simply stared at the ground thinking. Gillian was about to say something else but Cal reached and grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

"It's your choice," he said quickly but loudly before tugging Gillian's arm and marching out the door. Loker looked up as he heard the door click shut and sat up. He sighed, shaking his head. Then he looked at his computer screen where his CV was on display. Slowly he grabbed the mouse and highlighted all the available text. Then, sighing loudly again, he tapped the 'delete' button.

**Ok, sorry about the delay. Hopefully get more up again soon.**


	8. Chapter 8

**OK, slightly disappointed with the sudden drop off in reviews. I know I shouldn't be complaining and really I'm not but, hey, get your reviewing asses in gear – they make the world go around after all!**

**OXOXOX**

Gillian was turning to head back to the conference room when he grasped her arm and pulled her back gently. She turned to look at him, curious now, his words in the analysis room with Loker puzzling her. She deserved respect? It was rich coming from someone who had withdrawn his own completely in the last few weeks. Now she was staring him down, daring him to say something to her, and completely not expecting what he did say.

"We need to talk." Talk? Cal Lightman talk? Gillian tilted her head to the side. He was up to something. Or he was in trouble that he couldn't get out of. She couldn't tell which.

"I have to get back to the meeting."

"I know. Pop by later on." With that he turned and walked away leaving Gillian to wonder what exactly he was worried about. She didn't dwell on it for long, she had a meeting to get back to.

OXOXOXO

Cal Lightman glanced up at the clock. It was just past six, his employees would be gone for the day and he soon would follow. He wasn't in the mood for staying late tonight. Emily was coming over later for dinner and dad-bashing, as he liked to refer to it. He stood up, sighing and made his way towards Gillian's office. He wasn't looking forward to this.

He knocked on the door. When there was no answer he stepped inside but Gillian wasn't there. Shrugging, he moved and sat down in her desk chair. She probably wouldn't be long…

OXOXOXO

Gillian took a sip of the take out coffee she'd brought up from the stalls outside the office. It was warm and soothing, yet it had a calming effect on her, something she needed because she had no idea what Cal was about to say to her. She knocked on his door and walked in. The knocking was just a formality, she always just strode in.

But he wasn't there. Shrugging, she moved and sat down in his desk chair. He probably wouldn't be long.

OXOXOXO

Cal was swivelling in the chair when he heard the door open. Without looking around he greeted her.

"Ah Foster, hope you don't mind me nicking your seat…" he trailed off as he turned to see Wallowski standing in the doorway looking just as confused as he felt.

"You two switch offices in the divorce?" she asked jokingly, stepping into the room. Cal shook his head.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to your partner." She moved into the room and sat down in front of Gillian's desk.

"About?" Cal was naturally wary of putting two women with differing levels of knowledge about him in a room together. Especially when one of them was a crooked cop.

"I wanted to thank her for saving my ass."

OXOXOXO

Gillian Foster sighed. Where the hell was Cal? Glancing at his computer screen, she decided she'd check her email quickly and pressed the mouse button. The screen blinked immediately onto the security camera screen. She momentarily glanced at it before the top left corner slot drew her eyes back. Her office. Cal and…Wallowski? Opposite sides of the desk at least. She clicked on it to bring it full screen. Then, without hesitation, she clicked the sound button so she could hear the conversation. The first thing she heard told her that they were talking about her.

"That's kind of a touchy subject love…"

OXOXOXO

Wallowski nodded.

"I understand how difficult a choice it must have been for her…" Cal shook his head again.

"No love, I don't think you do. Because you see, lying is something that comes natural to people like you and me. It's just something we do, something we have to do to keep the walls up. But she's better than that." Wallowski shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"You know, you think your partner doesn't lie but, everybody lies. At some stage, for some reason, everyone lies. Pedestals can be knocked just as easily as they're constructed." Cal nodded his head. He agreed. Gillian had lied to him in the past, not often, and never without good reason but she had lied. Wallowski was still missing his point though.

"You want to know something crazy? She lied about you, to spare me. She did that for me. But…what you don't know is that, for the last three weeks, maybe more, I have treated her like a second class citizen. I've treated her like shit. And, when I think about it, I'm ashamed to think that I could be worthy of her high opinion of me. She lied for me even though no one would blame her for landing me or you in it. So don't you tell me that pedestals are easily knocked because she is so much better than either of us, that sometimes, I don't know how she can stand to stick around and pick up my pieces for me." Cal looked away swallowing hard. He hadn't been this honest since, well he couldn't remember when. The sinking feeling in his stomach though told him he should have been telling all of this to Gillian, not the consolation prize. Wallowski for her part, said nothing for a moment. Finally she lifted her head to look at him.

"You really love her, don't you?" Cal looked at her, deep in thought.

"That's not for me to tell anyone but her." He said simply. Wallowski nodded, standing up.

"I'll give you a call if I need a lie guy in the future." She walked away and had just made it to the door when Cal spoke up again.

"I don't think so Detective." Wallowski looked at him quizzically.

"What?"

"I don't need a dodgy cop in my inventory. And I definitely don't need one that drags my partner down into the dirt I'm used to rolling around in. I'm afraid this is a professional break-up. But hey, if in doubt, try the Rader firm. He'll be more than happy to oblige." Wallowski smirked to herself, shook her head and walked out without another word. Cal took a deep breath and let his head fall back against the chair.

Now if only telling Gillian would be so easy.

OXOXOXO


	9. Chapter 9

Gillian sat shocked in his office chair. She'd just witnessed the Cal Lightman that had been missing for the last while. That _she _had been missing for the last while. And he'd sent their crooked cop packing. Today was turning into a very strange day indeed. Almost single-handedly, in one day, he had turned around two things that had really been annoying her. She smirked to herself. Maybe he was finally learning.

OXOXOXO

Cal frowned, still sitting in the chair. Where the hell was Gillian? He'd said he'd pop by later. No, wait, he had simply said 'pop by later'. Maybe she'd misinterpreted. Either way he stood up and headed for the doorway. It was time to go find her. If he didn't do this now, he'd lose his nerve.

OXOXOXO

Gillian saw Cal stand up from her desk and walk from the room, probably on his way back to where she was. She contemplated getting out of his seat but decided to stay, letting him wonder if he'd seen what had just happened. He'd know straight away anyway probably.

She summoned her best neutral expression when she heard the door open. He walked in around the corner, saw her sitting in his seat and smirked.

"Alright love? Fancy yourself as the madman occupier of this office?" She smirked back at him and straight away he knew something was different. He glanced at his computer screen – he could have sworn the screensaver was on when he left. Oh no…

"How long have you been here?" he asked, trying to keep the worry from his voice. Gillian shrugged and pretended to think for a moment. That was it. She'd seen and possibly heard everything.

"Long enough," she said finally, a tone of amusement in her voice. Cal gave up and moved around the desk to sit on it, next to where she sat.

"Alright, enough, spare me. You saw everything on that, right?" Gillian nodded slowly and waited for the inevitable clarifying question.

"And heard it too?" he asked, the grimace creeping cautiously across his face. Gillian nodded again. He sighed and looked away from her for a moment. What the hell did he say now? Did he say anything? Should he just leave it and work on being better to her in future. In the end he went for what he knew she'd appreciate the most.

"I don't know what else to say to try make things right between us," he said, letting his gaze fall back to her. She glanced at the floor. She didn't know either. But she did know that there was something, she just didn't know what it was.

"Sometimes Cal, you make it so easy for me to hate you. You make it so justifiable. And you know, sometimes, sometimes I wish I could. Hate you, that is. But I never can. And that's the one thing that's keeping your head above water with me at the moment Cal…" Cal took a deep breath. It was time to risk another fight.

"You know what Emily said to me the other day? She said 'It's good you're writing your book because it'll be an injection of capital into the company. Where'd you think she picked up a technical phrase like that?" There was a glint in his eye, that dangerous one that Gillian knew meant he meant business.

"It's not an uncommon phrase Cal."

"Well it's uncommon for her to remember it if it wasn't said directly by someone in relation to something that involves her. Who were you talking to on the phone, Gill?" Gillian sighed. She had hoped to avoid this for a while. She stood up, tired of looking up at him, wanting to even out their heights a little bit.

"Is this the part where you tell me we're through? Because, the way things are at the moment, it's looking more like _I'm _going to be the one saying that…" Cal's head tilted slightly. He frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"The bank Cal. We've missed our last two payments on the loan, or at least, we've been short on them. I've been trying to buy us time but they're getting impatient. That's why Emily heard me talking about an injection of capital. I didn't want to tell you until I knew I had no choice. I didn't want to tell you until I was pretty certain it was all over. But, they've extended their waiting period for us, providing we can sort something out in the next month or so…" she trailed off, allowing a yawn to escape from her mouth. When she looked back at him he had a peculiar expression on his face.

"How long you been carrying this around with you?"

Gillian shrugged.

"Last month or so."

"Right around the time I started being a horrible bastard to you…" Gillian said nothing. Her silence confirmed his suspicions and suddenly he felt like the worst person in the world.

"Jesus Gill, why didn't you punch the head off me?" He was only half joking but Gillian chuckled.

"What good would that have done?" He shook his head, waving his hands out to his sides like he did when he was getting animated about something.

"Gill, why didn't you tell me?" She shook her head.

"I just couldn't, Cal." He shook his head again and allowed himself to sit back down against his desk. He couldn't believe this. Not only was his relationship with his partner, whom he loved so much sometimes that it hurt, falling apart, but his business was in peril too.

"You should have told me love." Gillian nodded her head once.

"I know." Cal put his hand to his face, swiping it down over the lower half of his face, eyes closing momentarily as he thought of all the things that could potentially crash around him with this bombshell. His business was one thing but it was nothing compared to what might happen to Emily, if he couldn't provide for her, what would he do then? Somehow, in the back of his mind though, he knew they'd pull through this. They always did. He glanced down at the woman in front of him as she sat quietly in his chair. He was surprised she hadn't tried to leave yet.

"How do we fix this?" he asked finally, softly. Gillian sat forward in the chair, her hands getting ready to illustrate what she was about to say.

"Finishing your book and publishing would certainly help. And, I hate to say it Cal but, a few more 'housekeeping' cases bring in top dollar…" she trailed off as she saw him swallowing hard and glancing away quickly. She'd picked him up completely wrong. Again.

"Not what I meant love." He waved his hand between the two of them, finger pointing at both her and himself. "Us" he said then. "How do we fix _us_?"

**More to come. Please review. And thanks to all that have been doing so so far! You lovely lovely people!**


	10. Chapter 10

Gillian stammered at his question. She didn't really know what to say except to try bringing it back to some kind of professional level. The level where she would have a leg to stand on.

"Cal, I really think we should deal with the professional, company situation first," she said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat when she saw him shaking his head.

"None of that will work Gill…if you and I aren't working. There's no point fixing something if the underlying elements are broken. And please god Gill don't tell me this is broken." Again he used his hand to indicate the pair of them. Gillian watched his face for cracks but there were none. He remained completely impassive, his face betraying nothing. And somehow, inside her, something snapped at this. She stood up, continuously watching his face, the surprise that drifted over it as she stood.

"Then give me something Cal. Give me something here," she pointed to his eyes, "or here", his lips, "give me something to work with. Something that might begin to convince me that I _want_ this to be fixed. Because right now, I'm living off of scraps you let go by accident. I can't function if you don't trust me. So give me something to work with," she said, wondering as she finished if any of what she had just said made sense. Cal's face seemed to indicate that he had found some recognition in it. Her features softened as she watched his surprise and…admiration play out on his face. But he said nothing. Sighing, she moved to step past him.

She couldn't remember the exact moment that she felt his lips on hers, or how it had actually happened. It was as if she blanked out for twenty seconds and on coming to, found herself pinned against a wall in a liplock. She'd deduce later that as she'd been walking past him, he'd grabbed her wrist and when she turned to look at him he'd just went for it. Passion carried them into the wall.

Right now though, her arms were around his neck pulling him into her, one of his hands was on her hip, the other had snuck its way down to her knee and pulled her leg up over his thigh. Her moans intermingled with his and he found his knees feeling weak at the sound of it. When they finally broke apart, both were out of breath. Cal did not step away though. Nor did he relinquish his grip on her exquisite thigh. He rested his forehead against hers.

"I don't know about you love but that seemed like a pretty decent 'something' to me…" As she nodded, her nose tipped off his, her lips off his and he caught them again in a more chaste, sweeter, softer kiss this time. His hands slid to her hips.

"The book's finished love," he said, not letting her step away from him, the hands on her hips holding her firmly in place. She looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"Really?" He nodded his head.

"More or less. I have to write a foreword but that's about it. It's done." He let his eyes linger on hers for a moment before darting his gaze back down to her lips. It would be so easy to just lean in again and kiss her. Would she let him? Or had it just been a fleeting moment of madness that had just passed between them?

"Can I read it?" He grinned at her.

"On one condition." She raised an eyebrow, curious but nervous.

"What?"

"You come to my house for dinner. I've got a printed copy. You can read while I'm doing dinner." Gillian frowned even harder at his request. It was way too easy, too normal. She said as much.

"That's it?" He nodded his head and she shrugged. Why not? There was no food in her house anyway.

OXOXOXO

Cal poured her another glass of wine as she thumbed through the next page of the book. She was powering through it while he watched dinner. She was able to skim but take in what she was reading, something he'd never been good at. His mind had to be completely dedicated to something in order to take it in. He smiled and left her alone while he went to check the food.

OXOXOXO

By the time they were sitting down for dinner, Gillian had finished the book. She said nothing until Cal asked her, curiosity getting the better of him.

"What can I say? It's great. Probably be on every psychology syllabus within a year. I'm impressed you put it together so quickly. And I like Emily's foreword," she laughed as she thought about some of the things Emily had written.

"Yeah I toyed with taking it out…"

"No, don't. It adds a nice human touch to it, emphasises the fact that you're just another normal guy. Who happens to be able to read people." Cal nodded. Emily's piece stayed.

"I just have to write the dedications and then it's off to the editor." He speared a piece of steak with his fork as he spoke, waving his other hand as a decoration.

"Who are you dedicating to, your mom?" Cal's lips twitched.

"Yeah. And Emily. And you." Gillian frowned.

"Me?" He nodded his head and smiled a beaming smile at her before quoting.

"To Gillian Foster, for keeping me honest. I might add a bit more to it…" Gillian shook her head, taking a quick sip of wine to steady her nerves.

"I like it as it is." Cal nodded and smiled, grabbing his own wine glass and sipping from it. They were silent for a moment.

"We're going to be ok Cal," she said suddenly and he looked up from his plate, his eyebrow raised.

"Yeah?" She reached across the table and placed her hand over his. Then she nodded.

"Yeah." He grinned and turned his hand in hers to clasp them together. It was the peace offering they'd both been waiting for. He was glad it had finally come around.

OXOXO

**Ok, bit of an abrupt ending but I feel this story has run its course. Watch this space for future stories.**


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